Each one the same face swathed in 90% black plastic, shielding the wearer from having to interface with the world. Oddly it appears that at roughly the age of 50 they all abandon their U2 ambitions and start to interact with people once again - reasons for this are not yet fully understood. Lisette is learning quickly that the term "local speciality" is not necessarily a recommendation. For lunch she had what is best described as "pig fat... on toast" and yesterday evening was a strange pasta dish that was so intensely green in colour that we have dubbed it "Kermit Pasta". Most of these strange menu choices have been down the fact that none of the restaurants have even a hint of an English translation and so we have been thrusting into the great unknown. Happily my choices have been much more pleasant - no fat on toast for me! However, Lisette has made me promise that we track down an English menu before we make a food choices for the next meal.

Dear all, I type this from the sunny town of Sorrento in Southern Italy where Lisette and I currently reside! We pulled into town late on Sunday night and since we are in the birthplace of pizza we have devoted much of yesterday and today to researching the topic in depth. The first part of our education took place last night when we went for dinner at midnight (the journey to Italy having taken somewhat longer than we anticipated). Unfortunately despite having that 'late Latin lunching' reputation almost all the restaurants were shut by the witching hour. In fact lots of places seemed to be open but all told us that they were shut and pointed us the to the main square. We had actually been deliberately avoiding the main square as each restaurant appeared to have extra zeros after the prices ( -Presumably this is for the pleasure of dining in the main square where all the Italians congregate with their motorbikes put-putting away in the background....) Anyway, since we had no option we attended one of the aforementioned restaurants in seach of sustenance. We both went for pizza and learned the first valuable lesson: 'Neopolitan' means that you get a pizza *completely* devoid of cheese! Apparently this is traditional but I was frankly disappointed when Lisettes pizza arrived without what I had personally always considered to be the traditional topping... Fortunately my own pizza was not lacking on this front and so between mouthfuls I was able to offer up my sympathies to Lisette (who was essentially eating ketchup on toast as far as I could tell). Lesson two was not so much pizza related as 'main square' related and, as mentioned, we had a hunch on this one already. The bill arrived at the end of the meal and seemed somewhat larger than expected. Closer examination of the bill revealed the cause: Lisettes glass of 'house white' was clocking in at 12 Euro a glass! Lest I come over all grumpy - I can assure that I am not - just a bit stunned... and my credit card is still gushing blood from overuse... Today has proved very pleasant though. We have sat around in the sun and read books and papers, then made friends by donating said papers to English tourists gasping for an update on the sports news. We have looked over the bay at the pollution hovering above Naples and congratulated ourselves at not staying there ourselves ('There but for the grace of God go I...') We have wandered the streets of Sorrento... well not quite true. It was my brother David's wedding on Saturday (now happily married to Sarah) which involved a Kaili... Kailee? Not sure how you spell it - lets call it a barn dance instead. Anyway, Lisette was delighted by this and got thoroughly involved - so enthusiastic was she that took a tumble and damaged her foot. As a result the 'wandering the streets of Sorrento' has been more 'hobbling the streets of Sorrento' including pauses for Lisette to put her foot in the air to relieve ... something. Not sure what but apparently putting your foot in the air is a good thing. I am now cut short as someone else has been hovering near this computer meaningfully... We are off to Pompei tomorrow to gaze in awe at the subject of so many history lessons. Will look learned and serious, nodding occasionally with true understanding of all things volcanic! John and Lisette (currently resting leg again)

But not for much longer! Currently a major component of the day still involves the seeking out of good coffee wherever we might be. Much as Indiana Jones seeks out historical treasures, I seek quality beverages! Rather than the standard coffee that I go for at home I´ve been instead imbibing iced coffee by the bucketload - partly for the heat and partly for this is truly the elixir of the annointed! To give you some idea of the affection in which I hold this drink I should say that I type these words in a cafe in which I have so far consumed 4 Cappucino Frio`s today. Ahhhh, life is good!

In general Merida was a dead loss on the coffee front, this may explain (at least partially) my lack of delight with the place. We actually spent most of our time in Merida going on trips to get out of Merida. And some of these trips were champion. I can now say that I`ve seen 24,000 flamingos in the flesh! (well more the pink feathers) To my surprise not one was standing on one leg. Was tempted to ask for half a refund. All were very pink indeed - we were told this has something to do with eating shrimp. Lisette and I have now reached our final destination before heading home. After 6 hours on buses yesterday watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" in Spanish (crap, by the way) we are in Puerto Morelos (back on the east coast of Mexico again). We´re staying in the Amar Inn. Given our experience of the establishment I reckon that "Amar Inn" translates to English as something like "Home of the BIG BIG dogs". The place is a small B & B which is overrun with very large hounds - Great Danes a favourite. They`re very friendly too - the most friendly is a golden retriever that appears to be part bear, such are her dimensions. Her name, ironically, is "Blondie"... The man who runs the place is also rather bear-like - it´s very possible that through his over-sized and over-muscled eyes she is but a cute yellow puppy - who can say? Lisette is very much in her element in Puerto Morelos as it contains the following: 1. Beach 2. Sun For me it´s good as it contains: 1. Hammocks 2. Shade So as I seek shelter from the sun Lisette comes to visit me every hour or so. Last time I saw her she had managed a new first - she has managed to tan 95% of her body - the only exception being the tops of her feet which are about the same colour as lobster that has failed to escape from the machinations of an enthusiastic chef... See you all soon - wonder if our luggage will make it back to Heathrow?? John and Lisette

But fear not you "Wind in the Willows" fans out there - "mole" as far as the Mexican people are concerned has nothing to do with cute brown burrowing creatures... Rather it´s a thick sauce that is poured liberally over tortillas. For added differentiation it's also pronounced "molay". So we've had endless fun repeating "moly moly moly moly" whilst sporting makeshift beauty spots constructed of compressed bread. Keeps us entertained. Surprisingly it (mole) tastes like chocolate. This is because it´s made of chocolate (amongst other things) - unusual in a main meal but very nice indeed. We´ve never quite got to grips with our jet-lag on this trip - mainly as I´m firmly convinced that Mexicans have got it dead wrong time-wise. The sun rises at about 5am. Early. However it sets at 5pm... Too early to my mind. I think personally that they should take a "let´s maximise the sun" approach to their lives and switch the clocks accordingly. Given that I don´t speak Spanish and I don´t know who to ask I´m still none the wiser as to their reasoning. We've decided that we want to see as much sun as possible and so we're early to bed and early to rise as a consequence. (Am also vaguely mindful of Dad's saying that "early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" - not sure if there's anything in that or if he just liked the feel of the phrase on his tongue...)

....Do you need more money? If so then I have the step-by-step plan for you: Step 1: Remove light fittings from rooms - no wasting money on expensive bulbs. Step 2: Remove plug sockets from rooms - let´s not have customers using that expensive electricity. Step 3: Stop changing the sheets and towels in the room - saves the environment and saves on the laundry Step 4: Treble your prices. Step 5: - And this is key - Change the name of your hotel. You are no longer the "Hotel Filthy Lucre" - you are the "Righteous (*not* miserly) Eco-Lodge". Now sit back and watch the cash roll in! :-) I can write this with some authority as Lisette and I have been staying in an eco-lodge (and staring with shock at various bills in the interim). We moved on from Isla Mujures on Monday. At this point I was still bagless and getting a little weary of the "wash clothes in sink before going to sleep" routine I´d adopted for sanity´s sake (and for that of the local air quality). When it came to checking out we decided to try our luck by phoning American Airlines one last time. Good news. Apparently, having finished its world tour, my bag had headed for Cancun and was waiting for me in the airport. Delighted, we breathlessly told AA that we were leaving our current hotel now and so they should deliver the bag to our new hotel - the Luna Maya in Tulum. AA confirmed that was fine. We asked the hotel staff of the "Maria Del Mar" to refuse our bag if it should be delivered by accident and we headed South to Tulum (via a half-hour boat-ride, a 2 hour coach-ride, 2 taxis and a bit of walking). About 6pm we arrived at our new hotel - sorry - eco-lodge to meet probably the surliest man in the eco-lodge business. We asked him if we could use the phone to ring AA. We didn´t think this was too much of an imposition - it was a toll-free number after all. "No phone" he gruffly informed us. It seemed there were no lengths to which the penny-pinching of an eco-lodge would extend. After some unsuccessful attempts with our mobile phones we prevailed upon his good nature once more (clearly a desperate move). Glaring at us, he threw his mobile phone in our direction so we could make the call. AA told us that the bag was still "in-transit". The next morning my bag still hadn´t shown - something of a mystery. Coupled with this, Tulum was absorbing the kind of rain that is usually reserved for Biblical floods. Lisette and I sought protection in an internet shop until the worst was over. To kill time we phoned AA once more - the bag was *still* in transit. Still! Apparently having circumnavigated the globe by air it was now attempting a tour of Mexico by land... We checked our email and found this waiting for us: *RE: Baggage it's in Cabanas Maria del Mar. From: CABANAS MARIA DEL MAR Sent:15 January 2008 16:45:14 To:mailto:xxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com Dear M. Jonh Reilly, Last night the company of American Airline brought the missing Bag at this hotel, the girl at the reception were thinking that still staying in the hotel and she received the bag, now you will have to come back at the Island for your bag. Kind Rgrds Clara. * Hmmmmmm........ I'll spare you grisly details of my reaction to this. Fate had made thrown us a curve ball and all we could do was biff it back to best of our ability. To that end: 2 boat-rides, 2 coach-rides, 4 taxis and about 8 hours later I had my bag by my (dishevelled) side once more. I have clothes!!!!!!!!! I have chargers!!!!! I have sandals!!!!! Since that time Lisette and I have investigated the Tulum Ruins (covered with iguanas and generally pretty), walked the beach, swam in an underwater cave with bats, climbed a Mayan pyramid, sacrificed a goat (well symbolically), abseiled (into the aforementioned cave), kayaked a river, eaten Mayan food, cycled the dodgiest bikes known to mankind and watched American tourists frolic next to a hungry looking crocodile (not nearly hungry enough as it turned out). We are now staying in Valladolid. I have no idea how to pronounce it. lots of love John and Lisette